"A kid needs a father and mother."
"What about dad? I don't think he did a bad job at all."
Then, today, I had to read two arguments: one for gay marriage and one against. The one against strongly insisted that young boys who grow up without a father are more likely to commit crimes. He forgot the part where most of these boys' fathers probably left the family. That the mother probably spoke often of how 'useless' her ex husband or perhaps boyfriend was. This boy has experienced abandonment by his father. Now, a boy who never grew up feeling abandoned who was raised by one woman, a mother who might have gotten pregnant by going to a sperm bank, might have experienced something different than the boy whose father abandoned his mother and him.
Children of divorce do not simply experience a saddening separation. Sure, it is definitely depressing that your parents aren't in love anymore and don't want to be together. Fine. That can be overcome more easily than worrying constantly about how one parent will hate you for loving the other, or trying to conceive why your father left you and seemingly doesn't love you anymore. Very different situations. One forces a young child to see his or her parents in separate settings at separate times. One creates an emotional unstable adult who has difficulty trusting other people.
My father raised me and my sister. Yes, I lived with my mom, but my dad is the one who taught us about life and the one who spent time with us. My situation is slightly different, but I wholly remember that the only reason I was miserable was because my parents, who I'm supposed to love, each told me every now and then how much they absolutely hated each other and constantly told me not to trust the other. Hostile environment, huh?
Most children coming from this kind of environment do not survive to become mentally stable, healthy adults. Why would an emotionally stable person join a gang, shoot up heroin, rob a deli for money at gun-point? The point is that they are less likely to.
If we look at the problem of young boys growing up without a father from only one perspective, I can see why ultra-conservatives would disapprove of two women marrying and having kids. (it does not necessarily explain two men...)
Having two father or one father or two mothers or one mother would not have made me feel the things I eventually did when I turned 13. Their hostility and hatred towards one another would have.
Kids who have at least one elder who loves them unconditionally to guide them through life, whether male or female, are more likely to become mentally stable adults.
